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First of all, I'd like to say that if you don't have an eating disorder but wish you did and are here to find out how to develop one, please go back the way you came. Wannarexics are not welcome here. Eating disorders are not diets, they are not fads and they are not "cool". If you do have an eating disorder and find anything in this journal helpful, you're welcome to it and I wish you the best. I am here to support others with their disorders and to be supported myself, it's our bodies and we make our own choices. Always remember, you are BEAUTIFUL and you are LOVED! <3 "What I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that though I do not know you and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you." -Valerie, V for Vendetta

Friday, January 29, 2010

Meds and Weight Loss

Yes, it's been days since my last post, so sad.. My boyfriend and I got back together, as I said before, and so I've been spending a lot of time with him and haven't bothered much with anything but him. But! Here I am posting again.
I feel weird today. I've been on antidepressants for a few days now, they kinda make me hyper and anxious and they make me feel like the world is moving too goddamn slow! Like, I was thinking today, it's only been 3 days since I visited the doctor, but it feels like it's been weeks. It's similar to the feeling I had when I was on shrooms once, I felt like I was moving so fast and time was just flying by and we'd been doing everything for so long but then, when I looked at the clock, it had only been 5 minutes. It's weird, I'm not sure if I like it or not, everything takes forever! I do like how they keep me awake all day though, I used to get so tired in the middle of the day and end up falling asleep after being up for about 6 hours. Now I stay up all day. I'm worried what will happen when I go up to 2 pills a day in a week and a half; I might not be able to sleep at all! Sadly, I wont feel a difference in mood until I've been on the pills for about a month, so I'm hyper and anxious and depressed still, goodie! On the good side, these pills increase libido and induce weight loss in some patients, hopefully I'll be one of those patients!
Speaking of weight loss, the first two days of my fast were a bit rocky and I'm sad to say, I failed at the end of each day. The first day my family brought home taco bell and I was, unfortunately, unable to resist. So I ended up having at least 2000 calories that day. The second day my dad made chicken with tomatoes and bell peppers for dinner and I ate that night as well, though that couldn't have been over 500 calories. However, since then I haven't eaten a thing and am going on day three of my fast! My weight loss is on a slow start this time though, I've only lost 4 lbs in 3 days and I'm sure most of that was just the food I had in my system. I hope it boosts up within the next couple days or so, before I switch to juice. I'm hoping to be around 155 by the time I switch to 10 days of juice. 

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