Crazy?

I feel like complete and utter shit, my skin is burning but I'm freezing, my body aches and my hands are shaking and I feel like I'm about to vomit, still. I broke my fast today too, I didn't want to but I'm under too much emotional stress right now to fast, no point being skinny when I'm dead right? So I'm drinking juice to break the fast. Still lost a pound though at least.

Anyways, the reason for my distress, my boyfriend sent me one last message earlier, telling me he didn't want to see me anymore. Yea, we broke up about a week ago, but a day after that he decided he'd think things over for a while, there was a chance we could try again but if we did we'd have to start our relationship over from scratch. I was fine with that, I love him, no matter what bullshit he pulls, I always still love him.
I'm such a glutton..
So yea, today he decided, there was nothing there to save and he was just done. I've been numb this past week and I thought maybe I just didn't care that we were over, I know today, that's not the case. I'm actually afraid to be without him. This sucks so hard..
I'm actually going to a psychologist soon, or a psychiatrist, my mom isn't sure which it is; giving the clinic a call on Monday to see if I can get in. I told her about the breakup and that I wanted to see a psychiatrist or something and she chooses then to tell me, there's a free one at a clinic around us! FREE!! So yea, I'm going to see him/her; good thing is, I'm not going to this psychiatrist/psychologist (whichever it is) for my ED, I'm going for my depression and whatever other problems my brain has (quite a few I'm sure). Who knows, maybe it'll help my ED too.
I'm a bit of a hypochondriac and I read up on medical problems all the time and I feel I could be bipolar, I have panic attacks fairly often now, first one happened a couple months ago and I'm like.. mildly agoraphobic, maybe not that, I'm not afraid to go outside to the store, but only if I'm with someone, if I go alone, I'm nervous as fuck the whole time. If I go to a friends house, I'm so uncomfortable it's not even funny. Friends have invited me to stay the night so many times but I turn them down, I haven't stayed at a friends house in years.
Uhg.
I suck.
Hope the shrink gives me some happy pills.. that'd be nice..

Tried to eat some oatmeal a few minutes ago, it settled my stomach a tiny bit, my whole body is hot now though and I couldn't finish the oatmeal :/ I ate maybe half to 2/3rds of the bowl. I hate myself..