What's Been Going on?!

My life has been one helluva ride since the last time I posted. Maybe that's why it's been so long. My crazy emotionally abusive ex and I broke up (yay! It's about time right?) I was single for a while and then I met the most amazing man in the world who I now live with. I moved across the US.. well half way anyway, from the rainy city in Washington to the painfully hot and sometimes blisteringly cold farm country of Iowa. What a change that is, let me tell you, it's hard to keep my skin from gaining any color in the sun! I know how weird that probably sounds to some people, "What!? You wanna be pale and not tan! You crazy!" Yea yea, my mindset still lives in the days when pale skin was considered fair and those women were the aristocrats of society and tan skin was only worn by poor people who worked out in the sun all day.
Oh yea, I bleached my hair a while ago, I like it but it completely destroyed my hair, the ends keep breaking no matter what kind of treatments I put in it trying to repair the damage, so it keeps getting shorter and shorter when I've spent years trying to grow it out... It's kinda depressing. So, I've decided recently that when I run out of bleach I'm gonna stop bleaching it, dye it bright red or light pink and black.. boyfriend likes the pink idea :P and then just let it grow again. I guess my hair is just too fragile to withstand bleaching. It's always been fine being dyed but bleaching was just too much I suppose.
Anywho, I finally stopped having panic attacks which is freaking amazing. I found a psychiatrist who was able to prescribe the right medication for me that pretty much stopped my panic attacks in their tracks. I haven't had one since the first time I took my meds, and it's been helping with depression on top of that. Elavil is amazing, hardly any side effects and it works wonders. The only negative is that it makes me tired as hell after I take it, about 2 hours after I take my pill I can't stay awake any longer no matter how hard I try. It's not that bad of a side effect really, I'd stay up all night if it didn't force me to sleep.
I started updating Stygian Thinspo again too, I tell you, it's getting harder and harder to come up with themes for each post, maybe I'll just start adding pictures willy nilly with no theme in mind.
Aside from all the new stuff happening in my life, my weight has been on the same roller coaster with me and right now it's headed slowly up the hill, ever since I moved here it's been on a slow but steady increase upwards, it's gotten to the point where I'm scared to step on the scale, I really don't even want to know right now cause I know it's gonna be too high and I know I'm gonna cry when I see it. The new man is really supportive of me though, I told him I wanna cut carbs and drop weight and he's totally fine with it and is actually helping me come up with low-carb food ideas. The only time I really eat anymore is in the evening when I make dinner for my man, other than that, I'm home alone and I don't have to hide the fact that I'm not eating from anyone. It's blissful, honestly. I just need to lose the carbs and then lose the weight along with it. I was so freaking close before I moved here. I can't believe how much I've gained in just a year, I feel disgusted with myself when I look in the mirror, I can see how plump I am and it's just disgusting.