28.7!

So it's day 6 of my fast and I am so happy today! I woke up and hopped on the scale and saw I am down to 157 lbs! Which means my BMI has gone from 32.0 down to 28.7! 10 lbs alone dropped just in these 6 days; fasting is really amazing. Now I just need to lose 21 more pounds to go from "overweight" to "normal weight" at which time I will most likely party!
I still have a long way to go to get to my goal weight, but I'm on a very fast track right now and I feel optimistic about getting there. My collarbone started peaking out too, I haven't seen it in so long, collarbones are beautiful! My ribs poke out just a little when I lay down now too and my curves are coming back! Every day I'm down 2 more pounds and every day my happiness goes a little bit higher, I can't even remember how it felt to be at 98 lbs, but I sure as fuck remember 195. I'll remember again soon though, it should only take a couple months to get down to where I want to be, assuming my weight loss doesn't plateau, but it shouldn't with fasting, I don't see how it could.
Anyways, going from obese to overweight is just so huge for me right now, I've been obese for so long and now I'm not anymore and it's like.. I feel lighter and not just in my weight. I don't feel as disgusting anymore and I feel like the sexy girl underneath this fat suit is finally clawing her way back out to the surface.
Look out bitches! I'm coming back! 

Meds and Weight Loss

Yes, it's been days since my last post, so sad.. My boyfriend and I got back together, as I said before, and so I've been spending a lot of time with him and haven't bothered much with anything but him. But! Here I am posting again.
I feel weird today. I've been on antidepressants for a few days now, they kinda make me hyper and anxious and they make me feel like the world is moving too goddamn slow! Like, I was thinking today, it's only been 3 days since I visited the doctor, but it feels like it's been weeks. It's similar to the feeling I had when I was on shrooms once, I felt like I was moving so fast and time was just flying by and we'd been doing everything for so long but then, when I looked at the clock, it had only been 5 minutes. It's weird, I'm not sure if I like it or not, everything takes forever! I do like how they keep me awake all day though, I used to get so tired in the middle of the day and end up falling asleep after being up for about 6 hours. Now I stay up all day. I'm worried what will happen when I go up to 2 pills a day in a week and a half; I might not be able to sleep at all! Sadly, I wont feel a difference in mood until I've been on the pills for about a month, so I'm hyper and anxious and depressed still, goodie! On the good side, these pills increase libido and induce weight loss in some patients, hopefully I'll be one of those patients!
Speaking of weight loss, the first two days of my fast were a bit rocky and I'm sad to say, I failed at the end of each day. The first day my family brought home taco bell and I was, unfortunately, unable to resist. So I ended up having at least 2000 calories that day. The second day my dad made chicken with tomatoes and bell peppers for dinner and I ate that night as well, though that couldn't have been over 500 calories. However, since then I haven't eaten a thing and am going on day three of my fast! My weight loss is on a slow start this time though, I've only lost 4 lbs in 3 days and I'm sure most of that was just the food I had in my system. I hope it boosts up within the next couple days or so, before I switch to juice. I'm hoping to be around 155 by the time I switch to 10 days of juice. 

Fasting is my Friend!

Ok so, I have my fast all planned out now. I'm a very structured person and without a plan I know I'm gonna break my fast early. I have the days to stop and start which parts of my fast written out on my calendar.
My water fast begins the 23rd, same day as my doctor's appointment, woohoo, then I start on juice on February 3rd, right after Imbolc, then go back to water on the 13th and then back to juice one more time on the 23rd before going back to food.
That's just my basic fasting outline, I might change it up a bit depending on how I feel during the fast, i.e. add juice in on water days if I feel like I can't handle just water for 10 days etc. I think I can do it though, going 40 days without food sounds like fun. Jesus fasted for 40 days and while I don't believe he's "the son of god" I do believe he was an historical figure, so if he can fast that long, why can't I? Technically speaking I probably could even fast longer, since I'm sure I have more fat on my body than he did, but I'm also sure he had more restraint than I do now.
Anyways, cranberry juice and herbal teas today to flush out my system a bit before I go strictly water. I'm so excited! I got a book on fasting from the library the other day to read too; I'm gonna need all the anti-food distractions I can get for the first couple days of this fast. Apparently it takes 5 days before your body actually starts feeding off itself.
So yay fasting starts today! 

Fasting Obsession

Is it arrogant of me to think of myself as a bear right now? I find it funny; I decided to binge today, willingly. Weird right? But wait, there's more.. you see, I figured I should get all my cravings out now, before I fast, that way, I wont have all those cravings while I'm trying to resist food, plus the new ones that form during the fast. So, like a bear, I prepare myself for my hibernation in winter by binging. Now, again, like a bear, I'm nice and fat for hibernation and I just stop eating for the winter and relax. Of course, my "winter" is only going to be 40 days instead of 4 months, but the concept is the same.
So, doesn't it make you wonder if perhaps humans were meant to "hibernate" as well, in their own way? Maybe not in winter, since your body can't warm itself as well without food, but maybe in late spring, just before summer? Or maybe even in the beginning of summer. It would make perfect sense to me. Why not? Mammals hibernate, humans are mammals; and we can clearly survive without food, that's why we get fat! I might be weird but it just seems natural to me, humans weren't always sedentary and gluttonous.
Anyways, getting off my little whimsical musings here, I'm excited to fast! I'm hoping to be 130, at least, by the end of it, no, not hoping, I WILL be 130 by the end of it. 120 would be better, but 130 is great.
Closing on a high note, I'm back with my boyfriend, again. He seems really happy we're back together, even though he's the one who broke it off.. Men.. Oh well, he's lucky I love him.

I suck and food sucks

So, after my so amazingly successful fast, I end up binging not even two days after reintroducing food into my system. Do we see a pattern here? Yes we do. ABC isn't going to work for me this time, I read that to detox yourself from food you need to have it out of your system for at least thirty days. Six clearly wasn't enough. I'm sure I gained back every single pound I lost in my fast and that's not acceptable.
I had, I don't know how many pieces of a pizza my family ordered. See? I can't resist cravings.
At least on the good side, I'd only had an apple for breakfast and a pickle for lunch.
So, to save myself from my addiction to food, I'm going to just fast for as long as it takes to drop the weight. I think maybe 10 days of pure water, 10 days juice, then 10 days of water and finally 10 days of juice again. By then I should be getting close to my goal weight and if not, I'll have to take a break with solid food for a while and if I need to lose more I can fast again.
Good thing no one ever notices what I eat, or in this case, don't eat.