Stressed

I feel so stressed today, my boyfriend and I have been having issues all day, he's being so cold to me today, I dunno what the hell it is but it's driving me crazy today. I'm alone right now so I can actually post in my blog during the day instead of after midnight when everyone is asleep. I have the worst headache in the world right now. I kinda wanna go take a nap. My stomach is growling right now and even that isn't making me feel better, I'm empty as can be and my boyfriend is bringing me down.
I guess on the good side it's making me want to eat even less. It's probably silly but I feel like he wants to fight so we'll break up and he can get away from little miss fatty me. He's so handsome and fit and thin and he could definitely do better than me. I practically worship him, he's so perfect I'm amazed that he's even with me in the first place.
Anyways, all I had to day was a piece of plain white toast, the fattiest kind of course but we've got just about nothing in the house so I don't have much choice, it's only 80 calories so I guess it's not so bad.
My head is just pounding so I think I might actually go take a nap. Maybe my boyfriend will be in a better mood when I see him later.

Bleh, goal time!

It's been a while since I've written anything. I just feel so bored with life right now. Haven't been on the computer much lately and.. *sigh* I've gained weight. I feel so down right now. I guess on the good side some of my friends have noticed my weight loss and commented on how thin my face looks. That made me happy, I still feel fat but hearing things like that is so nice, my boyfriend commented on how thin my thighs have gotten too, that made me really happy. But I weighed myself today and I've gained 5 pounds. I feel so horrible after seeing that, all my fasting and starving and I gained weight?! Uhg, damn my slow metabolism. I feel so depressed.
Ok thats it, I'm making a goal. I am going to lose 10 pounds by Easter, that might be kinda ridiculous, I dunno, we'll see how it goes. I've got a little over 2 weeks to lose 10 pounds, I think I can do it, I mean I can lose at least 7 pounds easily with a little will power, so lets see if I can get serious and go for 10.

Thinspiration

I've been browsing for some other ana sites out there to connect with other girls and I happened to come across the absolute best site for thinspiration. I literally swoon at nearly every girl I look at, they're all so beautiful and gives me something to shoot for and something to remind myself of why being thin is so important.
Thinspiration for Life
None of that celebrity unattainable perfection stuff, it's mostly normal, thin, girls doing normal things.
Anyways, I've decided to start doing some different work outs, my old ones just weren't cutting it for me, I didn't really feel tired at all after doing them and I feel like I should have at least broken a sweat or something. I'm gonna look into some dance-type work outs or maybe some of those biggest loser routines that I've been seeing around. If those people can lose that much weight doing those work outs maybe it's worth a try right?

Vitamins does a body good

So I've been thinking lately and decided it's about time I started taking some vitamins. I've been fasting a lot lately (nearly every weekend) and so I've probably been depriving my body of a lot of important things, so I went out and bought some women's multivitamins with like 100% or more of daily value on all of the vitamins and stuff. They make me sick to my stomach when I take them though, I feel like I'm gonna throw up like 5 minutes after taking one, probably cause I'm supposed to take them with food and I don't. I guess it's kinda good though, they make me sick for about an hour after taking it so I don't feel like eating anything.
I'm sure I've got some vitamin deficiencies already so I probably should've been taking vitamins for a while.
Bleh, 5am already, this insomnia is getting really annoying.

Success!

I did so good today in fasting, normally I have some juice or something but today all I had was water. I'm quite proud of myself for that. I had zero calories today, so woo, go me! My stomach has been growling most of the day, I love that feeling, when my stomach is completely empty. I feel so good on those days when my stomach growls, feel like the pounds are just melting off with each growl, it's great, can't wait to weigh myself, but I'm gonna put it off till I wake up tomorrow, I find I lose more weight when I sleep on an empty stomach and I've been fasting for a few days now so there should be some progress. I need to come up with some kind of goal instead of just trying to lose as much as I can, that's too vague. Too tired to come up with anything right now though.
I need some calorie-free gum or something for when I'm doing things on the computer to get rid of my oral fixation. I find I want to eat the most when I'm bored playing games or chatting and I certainly don't wanna pick up smoking, screw that.
Oh well, time to sleep, it's late. Let's see how much I lost tomorrow.